Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
