Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
