best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
