I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
