U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
