i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
