I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When are your genitals available?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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