She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
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He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
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Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize