he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
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I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
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This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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