We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
