tell your sister to shave her snatch
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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