you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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