dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
