Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
