That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
