Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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