so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
