this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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