I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
