Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
