Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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