Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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