nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
