dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
