i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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