I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
