Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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