and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
