I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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