where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
