So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
