You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
