he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
