I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
As shirtless as possible
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Randomize
