We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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