awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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