you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
