There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
