you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
