i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
