I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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