oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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