It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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