dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
