idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
