There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
