Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
