Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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