If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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