I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
