One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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