So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Even my vagina gasped.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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