I hate your face
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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