I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
should my penis look like a turkey
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize