Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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