i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
