i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
