When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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