so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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