i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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