I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
