Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
