Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
