did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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